The Emperor's New Clothes Rating: Release Date: 10 December, 2002 Retail Price: $29.99 OUR Price: $28.34 You SAVE: $1.65! Cast: Ian Holm Iben Hjejle Nigel Terry Carmichael Complete Cast (9 total)

The Emperor's New Clothes Reviews

Cast: Ian Holm: Napoleon
Iben Hjejle: his girl

Napoleon biographies in film have been countless, from Abel Gance's Napoleon (1927) to Marlon Brandon's Desiree (1953), and many others'. Every short man, it seems, has played the great emperor, either as a fool, a hero, a rascal, but never as a good guy. This is what Ian Holm attempts in The Emperor's New Clothes, an English movie that would never have had a chance, even if it had been half way decent, for this one isn't even that. Ian Holm is a fine actor, but the role he plays is thankless. When at St. Helena's, and nearing his death in 1821, a plot brews to bring the fallen emperor back one more time. One of his valets, who has followed him to Egypt (and other places) and who resembles him closely, offers to change identities with him. Disguised, he would stay behind at St. Helena's fooling the British guard that he is the ex-emperor, while the emperor himself, also disguised as deck help aboard a ship, would return to Paris, and start a movement. All goes well (enough), and the diminutive Napoleon arrives in Paris, only to find that his connection has just died. His widow and dead man's doctor welcome him, taking him for an inspired person of sorts'if not a harmless lunatic'and the woman strangely likes him, though he is twice her age (at least). All goes well up to a point. Napoleon settles in, and the doctor moves to another town, since the woman, who seems to have been his intended, has changed her mind. But then Napoleon starts claiming he is Napoleon. The domestic stuff does not satisfy his grand desires, and the woman's love is worthless, compared to great victories. The trouble is, nobody believes him, especially the woman, who now thinks he is a REAL lunatic. When the doctor, sent for help, returns, he takes Napoleon to a tour that he insists will 'cure' him. He takes him'guess where'to a lunatic asylum, where they witness a plethora of Napoleons'all with triangular hat and hand stuck inside the vest'for this figure is the most imitated by illusioned people in human history (since then). Well, that sight surely cures the emperor, who is not as demented as those in the mental hospital. He returns to the girl, preferring her arms to arms (couldn't help the pun). To an aging man, victory in bed may be superior to that in the battlefield.

That, in essence, is this lamentable story. And we are asked to sit through nearly two hours to see it. Well, I did, anyway, looking for surprises that might have been there. What if he really had sparked the girl to follow him to death and to glory? What if the ex-emperor had become a great chemist? What if he had cured the entire lunatic horde that imitated him? What if '. You get the point. The action was so slow (for a modern movie), it was stultifying. Ian Holm is seen bent with age and despair at having to work with such a bad script. The only bright spot in all this was Iben Hjejle, her luminous sensuality (though you see her always clothed, even in bed), and her performance. That actress may be headed for better things'having made something out of nothing. Why would she fall in love with this wasted shell of a man? Well, never mind, for if such a question were answered, then we could possibly have a movie worth the time to watch. Don't blame Ian Holm too much either. Bent as he was to play the bent emperor, he must have gotten a kick for having to play the playmate of a charming lady. Well, in any case, this movie could be a good tonic to geriatrics, better than geritol, or other tonics. By they way, the other guy at St. Helena's'also played by Ian Holm, died of overeating, amid the jeers of the unlucky guards who stayed behind to guard the phony emperor. Here one has to choose which ending is worse. Give us a break!

Totally Entertaining
This film is absolutely wonderful. Ian Holm is amazing in this fictitious account of Napoleon. The story is fun and makes you wonder if something like this could have happened. Of course it is not true but the literary license is clever, well written and performed. The story is character driven and creatively explores the emotions and thoughts of a post war exiled emperor. A delightful tale with a love interest and a satisfying ending. It is completely entertaining. One of my favorite films of the year. I highly recommend it!!!

More Customer Reviews (11 total)