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Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of BloodRating:
Release Date: 17 October, 2000 Retail Price: $14.99 Sorry, this product is not currently available. Cast: Complete Cast (11 total) |
Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood Reviews
Good But Not Great
While not as good as Demon Knight, Bordello of Blood is more than the porn it seems by first glance. The movie just misses some things that the first film had. One thing being that the cast in this film is a lot weaker than what was in the original. Can you imagine Dennis Miller as the hero? It's a little too farfetched to believe. Not saying that he is bad in the film, but he just wasn't that great. But he did bring his famous sarcasm to this movie. I did, however, like Christopher Sarandon as the preacher.
The special effects in this movie didn't seem to be used as much as they were in the original film, but what is there, it is still pretty good. The movie just isn't that funny and the movie is definitely not scary. It tries to make jokes that just aren't that good and Corey Feldman does not make a good vampire. Even with all of that said, still, the movie isn't boring. It does have enough to keep interest, the final scenes of the film when Dennis and Chris use squirt guns full of holy water is something to see. The special effects during that sequence were well done.
Overall, this movie is just average. Sorry that I keep comparing to the original film even though this has nothing to do with the original except for the name and the return of the key they were trying so hard to protect in the first movie. But "Demon Knight" set a bar that this one didn't really meet. The movie is fun, and the funniest thing in this film is the man in the bar that keeps sending people to the bordello. Not the greatest of the Tales from the Crypt movies, but the worst "Crypt" movie is better than most films that are put out in the genre. Worth watching, maybe not worth buying unless you are a "Tales" fan.
Somebody Stop Corey Feldman!
Let's give Corey Feldman some credit. He was great in Stand By Me and Friday the 13th 4 and even Lost Boys...when he was a kid.(I even had the chance to work with him on 'Stormtrooper' he is without a doubt a talented actor and a genuinely nice guy)But... Somebody needs to be the one to tell him that his career is over.He tries too hard to 'play it tough'in this one.(obviously embarrassed by his Michael Jackson friendship and that film where he was a Jackson look-alike) In this turd from a once respectable studio, Bordello of Blood also stars a mis-cast Chris Sarandon and a never funny Dennis Miller. A vampire movie with hookers is a cool idea, but Rodriquez and Tarantino did it much better with From Dusk Till Dawn.Also, a horror-comedy still has to be funny, right? This piece of cinematic dung was brought to the screen by some very famous directors ( Robert Zemeckis and Walter Hill)and the TV series wasn't that bad. It just cannot make the transition to the big screen. For example,everything from the casting down to the crappy set design and cheapo FX( So bad they make Battlestar Galactica look like genius)not to mention the cheesy puppet Cryptkeeper. The one scene I care never to see again: Feldman,wearing phony-looking teeth and a plastic make-up appliance on his face( which is about to fall off at any moment-Shame on you, FX Guy! For shame!)
leers lustfully as his sister is molested by the Queen bitch vampire, Angie Everhart. It is a sick film made by sick,twisted, and cynical 'players' in the film industry. (Even Richard Donner-'Lethal Weapon' kept his name on this one!)The director(Gilbert Adler) should have to do prison time in 'director's jail' for his part in this atrocity. Yes, it's that bad. Dennis Miller, the ever cocky smartass 'Private Eye' (Oh,we've never seen that cliche before!)confuses his talent with the size of his paycheck and smugly thinks he can save the film with his 'wit'. Trust me, he fails,and if you notice, this was his first (and last) starring role in a film since. Coincidence? I don't think so.
This film was an excuse for these very respectable and sucessful filmakers to slum it, and do a really awful low-budget pile of vomit. Not even the topless hookers can distract you long enough to realize that this screenplay should have been tossed in Zemeckis' golden circular file over at Universal.
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