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Star Wars Trilogy (Widescreen Edition) Customer Reviews (73 - 75 of 272 Reviews)

What's all this I hear about people complaining about the so-called "revamped" Star Wars movies? They're the same movies, just with subtle effects changes. I can't believe so many people are moaning and groaning about an added laserbolt at the end of Greedo's blaster...you people are in serious need of finding jobs, all of you.

I've been a fan of the movies since the mid 90s (I was only 12 at the time), when the trilogy was re-released to VHS. Seeing it on my TV was one thing...seeing it in theaters for the first time in 1997 was something entirely different.

Since that time, there have been several additions made to the trilogy, the latest being the ones made for this release. I won't go into them at this time, but it's kind of lame how people act like Lucas ruined his franchise. You people just have very high expectations. Well, make your own movie and then you can criticize.

Entertaining movies, but what was my Empire thinking?
Dear rebel scum (or new Republic, whatever),
I was watching Episode 4 (New Hope) the other day and realized how close (as usual) the good old Empire came to ending that impetuous rebellion once and for all. I think it boils down to bad planning. The example? Look no further than the climax of said New Hope: the Death Star is moving into position to attack/blow the crap out of Yavin, where the insidious Rebels are residing. But, oh! the Empire must first get the Death Star around this red planet which is blocking their shot. Wait, read that again with emphases (more than one emphasis) on 'planet' and 'blocking their shot'. Could the Empire have concocted their own demise any more efficiently? I mean come on, they have the friggin' DeathStar (tm), which is made to what? Blow up planets, not go around them. It's like asking Cris Carer to throw the ball to himself to get the touchdown, when what he should really be doing is just catching the ball and catching touchdowns.
See what I'm getting at? Maybe we could've used the Death Star to blow up the red planet, therein saving time in navigating it, and then we would have a clear shot at the rebel planet. Were we saving our shots for a later time or something? I think the rebellion, though rather childlike in nature, was a pretty big deal at the time, and one of the imperial officers even informed Tarkin of the potential danger in the attack patterns of the uneducated rebel pilots. But nooooo, Lucas had to make our military leaders Arrogant and Headstrong and the Bad Guys. I mean, honestly, the movie was all believable up to this point, and guess what? The Empire gets creamed for being dumb, not because the rebels were lucky. See, if the Empire does the smart thing and blows up two planets instead of one, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. No; we would all be under the rule of Darth Vader (who we all know would have usurped the Emperor anyway, let's not kid ourselves), who by the way would also have been better off if the rebels got creamed, because then he would never have gotten in touch with his softer side when 'getting to know' his kids, who would have been destroyed with the rest of the pest-like rebels.
I do like Episode V, however, as I have a starring role in it, and it ends pretty well too with us bagging Han Solo and Luke's right hand. I generally like to end the series there, as it all goes to crap in Episode VI, what with Vader switching sides, the Emperor 'falling' down a giant hole, and oh, those fuzzbucket Ewoks, who help (why?) the impotent rebels to blow up our shield generator (which is what I was so gloriously doing to the rebels' generator in Ep.V). Really, things came back to bite us rather quickly after that first Death Star, which goes to show that if there's something really important to be done (say, blow up the neanderthal rebel base on Yavin), you should have your top man, for instance, me, making the important decisions. Never you mind where I was at the time of the first DStar exploding (definitely NOT crashlanded and marooned on Yavin, for example), the point is I would have made an excellent Grand Moff, but now all I get to rule over is the kiddie pool in the backyard. It's no Death Star, but that Imperial March really carries well across freshly mown grass and the doghouse. In case you're wondering, I did not die at Balmorra, I simply survived like Gloria Gaynor, and now I 'get jiggy wit it' like Will Smith, despite losing my legs when they blew up my AT-AT at Hoth. Oh how I miss you sweet AT-AT, and how I curse you Rebellion! Long live the Empire!
General Maximilian Veers

BLOWS

This blows -- just like all of the Star Wars movies. But nerds who live in their mom's basement will love it. Some people just can't handle this world...so they have to find succor in a phony world of make-believe, populated with goofy space creatures and dimwitted super heroes. Grow up already! There are no super hereos, Elroy.

But if you have a light saber in your hand and a Luke Skywalker outfit in your closet, slap this in your DVD player, grab some vaseline, and lube up for fantasy and adventure!

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