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Queen KongRating:
Release Date: 22 April, 2003 Retail Price: $19.95 OUR Price: $17.96 You SAVE: $1.99! Cast: |
Queen Kong Reviews
Feminist Giant Gorilla In A Chainmail Bra. Need I Say More?
As a fan of grade B movies, I thought I was adequately prepared for anything in a giant gorilla movie, as I have seen 'A*P*E' at least three times now with no side effects. I was so very wrong. This movie, obviously a parody of 'King Kong' (and in fact kept out of general release by Dino de Laurentis and his lawyers since it was made in 1976), is so totally rank in every way that I considered giving it one star, but it does have occasional moments of high camp value that help it up a bit.
This is essentially the 'King Kong' story retold from a liberated feminist's point of view. In this film, the work of genius director Frank Agrama (who shares a very boring commentary track with no less a man than Fred Olen Ray!) tells the story of a group of women and one (allegedly) good looking man (the ever annoying Robin Askwith), who must be protected due to his delicacy by the women at all times. They are making a movie in Africa (in the country of "Lazanga Where They Do The Conga") with this loser as the star, when they meet up with Queen Kong. Naturally they bring her back to London where she climbs Big Ben after escaping. Ultimately Robin decides he loves her and they go off into the sunset together.
This film has something for absolutely everyone to hate. Rula Lenska and Robin Askwith are more than a bit annoying as the leading characters, the script is sophomoric (please take special note of the "Lady Jaws" special effect for all the evidence of that allegation you will ever need), and the acting is repugnant. I am particularly flabbergasted by the scene in which Rula Lenska speaks "Unga Bunga" to her arch enemy. (She speaks all native languages, you know. Typical line: "Unga bunga, hunga, chunga!") Also not to be missed are the jaw dropping musical numbers. These numbers (especially the one on the 'Liberated lady', their tugboat that they sail from London to Africa) are far worse than anything from "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies", the previous touchstone for bad dancing (particularly in the now legendary 'Shook Out Of Shape' number.) Of course I adore TISCWSLABMUZ, and all of the Steckler works, as Ray Dennis Steckler has more talent in his left pinky toe than the makers of this travesty have in their collective bodies. Your ears will also be assaulted with what may possibly be the very worst theme song in movie history. I won't get into that further, just suffice it to say that you may be unprepared for the horror.
True lovers of grade Z movies owe it to themselves to watch this once. You will be numb when you are done, but then you can smile with pride at having watched the unwatchable. I can't imagine a worse ape film.
Boring
This one is a real klunker. I guess some people like this for the camp. This is full-on 70's campy, but without any retro-cool. It's supposed to be a comedy, but I can't imagine anyone laughing at it. The jokes are of the "unga-bonga" type. (Those Africans talk so funny don't they. Please, give me a break.) Some of the jokes are offending, and the one's that aren't are just plain dull. The actors are some of the worst I've ever seen. If you're looking for cheesy movies, I recommend the Mystery Science Theater series instead. Give this one a miss.
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