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Kingdom of the SpidersRating:
Release Date: 01 October, 2002 Retail Price: $9.95 OUR Price: $9.95 You SAVE: $0.00! Cast: |
Kingdom of the Spiders Reviews
GOODTIMES WITH RACK
The quality of this DVD is suprisingly good, considering it's from Goodtimes Video. Like another reviewer stated, too bad it's fullframe.
This is a entertaining movie. For the money, I can't think of any reason why you shouldn't get this. It's just a fun movie. There must be some reason this movie works and other movie with bigger budgets fail. I can just imagine the director gathering the cast and crew and telling them, look, I know we're not making Citizen Kane, but let's make a good movie. Something like that. The cast all give solid performances and seem to be having fun. A scene that is typical is when the sheriff tries to tell a woman that her husband is dead. He is unable with words, he grabs her in silence, hugs her, and the camera views them from the distance. I didn't expect that. Kinda moving.
Beam me up, Scotty.
First off, I haven't truly been scared by a movie since I was 3, and that was Terminator 2. So take this review with a grain of salt.
SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU ARE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING WATCHING THIS, *DON'T* SKIP AHEAD!
I'm sorry, but I simply cannot comprehend why anyone would call this a horror film. It's a comedy, through and through. True, Shatner isn't playing Kirk, but it's close enough, and a name like Rack Hansen doesn't help. (More like Rack Beefcake. Every time I think women really want a nice, family man, someone like this shows up, and the girls start fawning. But I digress.)
The plot is ridiculous, to say the least. The besieged villagers only start stomping on the critters in the *last five minutes*, for crying out loud. One moron shoots her own hand off to kill a spider on it, instead of thwacking the back of her hand (and consequently, the spider) against the dresser. Brain scientists need not apply.
And how could I possibly forget the scene where Kirk- er... Rack (snicker) has to cross a field of spiders. He does, by running across the field the way Speed Racer would have if he were on cocaine. (Step, stop. Step, stop. Step, wobble, stop. Painful face.) For that matter, how is Shatner the only person able to survive a bite from one of these spiders?! (Let alone 35!)
If the American public is really as mind-bogglingly stupid as these inbred idiot characters, an Army of Killer SMEGGING TOMATOES would have no trouble...
Oh wait, they made that movie too, didn't they.
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