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Jaws 3Rating:
Release Date: 01 June, 2003 Retail Price: $14.98 OUR Price: $13.48 You SAVE: $1.50! Cast: Complete Cast (11 total) |
Jaws 3 Reviews
Big Ugly Florida Fish
Okay, there was Jaws, a truly terrifying classic. And then there was Jaws 2, a sequel that wasn't as well written, but still managed to be scary and effective. And then in 1983, the people at Universal thought about cashing in on this series again...with another Jaws flick.
There is something that a lot of movie watchers don't know to this day, although most do by now: Jaws 3 was originally Jaws 3-D, and audiences were required to wear those nifty blue and red goggles for effects that 'REEEEEEACH' out to get you! Ohhhhhh-the terror!
Dennis Quaid stars as older Brody brother Mike, who is now the chief architect for Florida's 'Sea World' Aquariums and Park. His younger sibling, Sean, arrives from somewhere out there and decides to hang out with him. They are typical brothers who get along, but they are pretty different. One's the smart set, while the other is the 'howdy-here for the ride' dude. And that means (of course) Mike has to have an 'intelligent' marine biologist girlfriend (Bess Armstrong as Kathryn Morgan) who loves dolphins more than him, while Sean goes for the cute water ski girl (Lea Thompson). Ah, romance, Florida, Sea World, filled with happy dolphins and tourists. What else could anyone ask for in this picture perfect world?
Well, how about a 35 foot man eating shark?
Now, there are a lot of questions as to why 'another' Jaws movie was made. Ah, come on. Who wants more money? "I do....I do!" So, as the movie rolls, we start with the first victim, played by....uh, well, played by a fish. Usually there's a human victim or two to start a Jaws flick, but instead we have a large grouper (or some sort of fat fish) that ends up getting the big chomp, and then having it's severed head slowly turning around in the water and blood. Anyone who was lucky enough to see it in 3D started reaching for the screen to touch the ghostly close up image. Much more funny than scary. Another victim is a lone park handyman. After trying to fix the waterpark's gate that reaches out to the ocean, he too says 'adios', while we say to the shark, "Here, fishy fishy...come and get it!"
So, a handyman missing, and one less fish in the ocean. Hmmmm, the park staff become suspicious. Well, there are a lot of tourists coming to see their new attractions, and Mike and Kathryn get down to business. Ironically, they somehow accidentally capture a 14 foot great white shark and, almost immediately, the money-success hungry park director, Calvin Bouchard (what a name), decides to put it on display, while animal lover Kathryn protests. Soon, the mini white dies, yet after finding the grizzly chewed body of the handyman in the water, they discover that they have a bigger shark on their hands since the bite radius on the guys body is much bigger than the smaller shark's jaws.
This movie really isn't that scary, yet there are a couple of scenes that really get your nerves going. Like the sudden appearance of the larger mother shark, who's behind the recent attacks and must be coming for revenge. The site of her immense dorsal fin slicing through the water, plowing through the waves after a group of Sea World water skiers in a gymnastic pyramid formation will make you chew your popcorn MUCH faster.
Mike and Kathryn get some help from a suave Aussie and a 'moostashed' diver who attempt to photograph the beast yet tell the couple they are still eager to kill it. Right....money making, prize winning photos first...dead shark second-ah, keep shooting that camera mate!
This DVD (or VHS copy) isn't 3D enhanced, so when you see the supposed 3D scenes, like someone pausing to shoot a harpoon gun at the screen, or the shark coming straight at the camera, the director probably hopes you at least 'imagine' those particular scenes in "3D". Oh, wow.
As for the shark, well, the shark itself is as fat as a swimming 'Butterball' Christmas turkey, sans plate. It growls, swims at the speed of a one maned canoe, swims backwards (YES, she throws herself in reverse in an underwater tunnel), and chews mighty slow. This was made in 1983, so there are no CGI sharks, but instead rubber sharks that are used against a poor quality blue screen. The closeups of the shark are pathetic. You can tell that they really worked more on it's ultra thick gums than it's dull teeth. If you think the shark at Universal Studios looks silly....keep watching. Hey, maybe IT IS the same shark!
The movie is also filled with meager dialogue, slow motion shouts of "NOOOOOOO!!!", and plenty more to make any movie watcher roll their eyes. The best part, although terribly executed and acted, is worth the wait and puts me in stitches for a few minutes every time. A group of tourists are asked to leave the park's transparent underwater tunnels after Mike and the gang find the dead handyman, and don't want anyone else to find out and panic. So, as they're escorted out grumbling and complaining, wondering why they have to leave due to 'technical difficulties', a little girl spots something moving behind everyone. She tugs on her father's sleeve, "Daddy.....Daddy-loooook!" The father, with an unsuspecting expression, turns to see what she's looking at, and although we don't see the shark, the people do, and the way he blurts out "Holy $#*^ !" is hilarious. He's frankly 'surprised' at the sight of the shark, instead of horrified, so he must definitely be a 'true' extra. That's what makes it so funny. Extras usually end up getting the bigger laughs than actors do in thrillers and monster movies.
Also, as everyone is screaming and running past the camera, watch for the ten or so year-old boy somewhere in the crowd, smiling and laughing as he runs past. I guess he never worked in a movie again.
Louis Gossett Jr, who plays Calvin Bouchard, is a terrific actor through and through, and had just won an Oscar as the steel tipped Sgt. Emil Foley in 1982's 'An Officer And A Gentleman'. After such a mountain of a performance, why this movie? Is he a big fan of the Jaws series? Or maybe Sea World? The cast isn't that bad, but what was Dennis Quaid thinking? To get your feet wet is one thing....but this??? Still, their performances aren't that bad. They are decent enough and try to make the most out of it.
In all, this movie stinks. It's a Grade-A stink 'bomb'. I bought this movie as a joke for my brother during Christmas '00 on VHS. He and I watch it now and then, making jokes and laughing all the way through. We both agree that it is that bad, but it does make you laugh if you're bored one day. Other than that....good grief.
INTERESTING AS A FOLLOW-UP
Well the two boys from the first two movies are now grown up.
The bikini girls were kind of silly. But that is the guys for you.
The theory of the shark show-up was probably plausible. Once again we have loads of miss-management that throws everyone's life into a bit of chaos.
Who is the goofy gal that wants to keep a killer shark in captivity?
There was some moments of fear when mama shows up - never did find out who took out the first guy.
There was not enough emotional trauma on Mike's or his brothers part.
But I will add it to my set with preferences to the first 2.
Color and photography great - acting, as good as can be expected - Ah well, judge for yourself.
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